Sensory Hallucinations.

I can't sleep enough these days it seems. My sleep is always between fits of hallucination: a pressing on my chest, water on my legs, a hand on my back, as images I recognize from the past or future flash before my eyes.

I can't wait to be home in a few weeks. Nothing current can be familiar. I want to sleep in an actual bed that's my own and I want hugs from Liam and Tammi and Emmie and Quinn and everyone else that will be there.

So much of what others imagine my happiness being seems to stem from just being in awe of existance. What is it going to be to not exist anymore. I doubt I can imagine it, but what I have now is spectacular. Realizing that we're all in together and that we're all broken and beautiful. Realizing that since that is the case the only proper response to most things is compassion and love and love and compassion. I often think of airplanes, how perfect and complete everything looks from so high up. That would be how some sort of god feels if it exists I think. That may not be the best thing for it. I want to be able to sleep, needless to say hopefully rather soon I'll be able to kinda-sorta write after I get certain personal messes under control. Until then, hopefully this is enough.

Hopefully everything is enough.