2.4.09

What's yours is mine and mine is yours.

"When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder.
Everything moved me. A dog following a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calendar that showed the wrong month. I could have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from a chimney ended. How an overturned bottle rested at the edge of a table.
I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
-Everything is Illuminated

Our lives are constantly getting louder, we have to take in every new refrain and line as they all converge and swell together. We hope everything ties together at the end and everything starts coming together and fades in a way that we know is okay but it will probably be the case that the last few minutes are louder and more complicated then anything before them. And then it all ends and there's only a painful silence as everyone who's listening is left confused by the lack of revelations, so they choose lines to take as their own hoping something will eventually be resolved.

We just have to hope that no matter how loud the world gets, it never overwhelms us and we never start tuning it out. We're our only witnesses and I imagine that it's of the utmost importance to try our hardest to listen for as long as we can, to hear the chords that resonate all around us and take them in until we're crying and we don't know whether it's for all the beauty or all the pain.

I don't know much about music, I just know how it makes me feel.

Well all know the lives we want, but we know that we'll probably never have them and that all we can do is try to piece together something close to what we want with everything we have, overwhelmed as we all might be, we need to recognize that all our lives are built from the same time signatures, the same notes simply rearranged into endless possibilities that we might not be able to understand fully, but are in fact built from all the same themes.

I hope I never feel less, always more. And I wish the same for you. And I hope to hear some of your life and take parts of it as my own so that you don't have to bear it alone. And I hope you'll do the same for me. And we will be so surrounded by the sounds of our live that we may have trouble hearing what each other is saying but we'll understand completely as everything swells together and it becomes hard to make out the individual notes.

Start being moved by everything because it all deserves our attention and it all deserves to be a part of everything. And I hope this makes sense to you, whoever you are and I hope we'll pass each other on the sidewalk some not-to-far-off day and you'll tell me about your everything. And I'll be so thankful.

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