Keeping it all by my side.

I have this terrible aliment,
called 'accidentally poetic'
Like a close friend who, for all their bluster and swagger, will tell you
that they're scared
in the early hours of the day.
I've had quite a few of those, 
they keep me here and they keep me grounded.
I guess I wouldn't want it any other way.

And whenever I cannot drift off
I don't count sheep
I compose prose
And by morning my words have dissapated
But I'm holding onto these.

I made a new friend 
we went out to the lake
and walked on the water
It was march and it was dark and the wind from the mountains rattled my bones
and set my roamin' spirit loose.
My future was endless
and it was all laid out before me
I could walk to other countries
other states
other lives.
He was afraid of drowning,
so we turned around.

Another friend, I used to think they had all the answers
So busy listening to what I thought they were saying
I didn't even know that they were broken.
That's what they were really saying, after all...

Someone else, and I was someone else too
we had a parking lot
we sat there when it was dark and cold and empty
the pavement stretched before us, it was endless.

Boats on sunny days,
Walking through city streets, more dangerous than we know
taking risks 
jumping ship
roll the dice
take it all back.

So maybe nothing will ever be okay.
Though it's hard to say on days where the sun is shining and you're sitting in the middle of a sidewalk full of children's chalk drawings
Or whenever you make a new friend.

And I'm afraid to die
because I haven't done enough.
I'll never do enough.
Because I'm just
something that's broken
and you can't expect a whole lot from somthing broken.

But just being around to watch the universe happen
well if that isn't something, I can't tell you what is.

And I want to keep it all safe,
but it slips through my fingers
and time passes
and there's no such thing as a fair trial.

Around the grave they say,
"In the midst of life, we are in death"

"In the midst of death, we are in life."
Something we all need to remind ourselves.