Purposes.

I must admit, though I claim to be an agnostic, I can have atheistic tendancies.

We are thrown into life, purposlessly. It is up to us to create a purpose, even though it may be objectivly meaningless.

And I may have found mine. My whole life, through trials and joys, deaths and rebirths seems to have all lead up to this. This one moment, which is infinity.

I want to live to remind those around me of the beauty and wonder all around. Tell them, through word and actions that there is no such thing as hopelessness, that atleast we have that.

I know I am far from perfect at this, often I am quick to judgment and occasionaly I do feel hopeless.

But to find a small spark in a handful of others and to try to cultivate it, that is all that is worth anything. Reminding them of all of the universe's wonders reminds me as well. And there is no better feeling than that, to feel not only connected through existance, but through awareness of existance as well.

Because my life is not for nothing. Yours doesn't have to be either.

In one of the books I am reading, Joseph Mengle (among others) saved this girl's life. He told her her hair was beautiful, asked her how old she was, she was thirteen. She was tall for her age. He sent her and her mother to the right and told her that now she is sixteen. She never saw him again, but soon learned who he was. This does not excuse all the horrors he commited, this does not come close and I am no apologist. But there is a spark of humanity in everyone, no matter how hard we try to deny ourselves and others. The problems of the world, and of people are not really their problems, but the existance of such problems alongside their humanity.

What does it mean to be human?
I feel I'm coming close.